And I expect to find you that way when I return."I thought, "how sweet, he says the same thing to Shirley that John says to me. He wants her to be feeling fine when he gets back."Then Shirley said "Oh you bad man. Don't worry, I'll be freshly fucked for you when you get in, maybe just by minutes."I heard that and sat straight up in bed. F.F. that means FRESHLY FUCKED? No way. No fucking way. John wouldn't mean that. F.F. had to mean feeling fine, not freshly fucked.I pulled open the nightstand drawer where I kept John's letters to me, I began opening them and reading. It was the fifth letter where he began putting that in the Postscript. I also caught something else; he kept telling me to go out and have fun. Not to stay home all cooped up. He told me to go to the club and let my hair down. What was he telling me or trying to tell me? Was he telling me to go to bed with other men? No way, NO FUCKING WAY!!!I sat there holding the letters; I guess what Peter said to Shirley was true.. I have it all planned out. The only thing that could screw my plan up is my timing, or another driver close enough that they could witness the event. In the case of a witness, I just wait for another day, no problem. But if my timing is off, I might not get another chance. I’ve practiced time and time again and the device works perfectly. At least the part I could practice. It’s what happens after he runs over it that will be the test. It should work. It has to work. It’s too simple not to work.The device is a one by six inch piece of pine, three feet long with pieces of twisted scrap metal loosely attached to the surface of the wood, placed so that the sharp edges would punch large holes in a tire when hit. Attached to it are two thin nylon ropes stretched across to my side of the road so I can drag it from its hiding place on the other side onto the pavement into Bill Brown’s path.My timing has to be perfect. I must not pull too early giving him a chance to avoid it, and yet not.
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